Dosed with a fair amount of sarcasm!

 

There is so much to like about working at Sandia. Here’s a few things:

  • Salary freezes
  • Shrinking bennies
  • Being fingerprinted, randomly drug tested, and biometric-ed like a criminal
  • Guards searching you whenever they feel like it (hands off!)
  • Dubious “managing” the customer and other sleazy ethics
  • Male clearance investigators who ask you questions about your sex life and hold your job in their hands if you don’t answer
  • Your 1950s era office with no sunlight and no joy

 

But do men and women view Sandia differently? For the male point of view, read this. For the female point of view, here’s some top reasons to work at Sandia! I know you’ve all been waiting for this!

  1. The clear hierarchy (White male -> Asian male ->  Hispanic male -> Black male -> contractors -> any “girl” -> janitors -> OAA’s). You always know where you stand.
  2. You don’t actually have to do any real work other than push papers for the guys, fill out their forms, do their corrective actions, and check their work. As long as you do it cheerfully, you’ll get a raise. It’s pretty easy, and hey, that’s why you went to grad school, right?
  3. Lactation rooms and all the crappy boobie jokes that go along with that from your male colleagues (not to mention the odd “accidental” peeper now and then)
  4. Being called a girl when you’re 45 and have a PhD in Mechanical Engineering
  5. Man-splaining!!! The endless opportunities to hear ad nausem from your male colleagues who don’t fundamentally believe you can understand complicated things like, oh say, physics, integrals, and github.
  6. Walking down the hallway and listening to Rush Limbaugh booming  out from offices, especially when it’s on the day Rush calls women sluts and prostitutes.
  7. Your manager proudly announcing he fired the old secretary and hired a new, pretty, young one. Then wondering if you should warn her how lecherous he is. (Hands off!!)
  8. A manager telling you that Joe down the hall is just the way he is and he doesn’t think he can stop his sexist comments. And then says you should go get a new job because you don’t want to let it go.
  9. Being asked by managers what male-leadership-only megachurch you attend (you know, the ones where women are supposed to be subservient to their husbands) and realizing this is the ass who is going to assign your work and evaluate you.
  10. Being told you need to be more like the guys to get promoted, then being told you’re too bitchy when you do it.
  11. Making less than your husband who has the exact same degree and level of experience and got hired at the same time you did.
  12. Behavior based performance evaluations where ya better just act like a subservient wife/female or you’ll get rated down, a crappy raise and eventually fired. Act competently, and you’re rated down for being unlikeable.
  13. Finding out you have breast cancer because Sandia was lax with its occupational exposure practices.
  14. Finding out that they just raised the acceptable occupational radiation exposure limit right before you got pregnant.
  15. The female traitors in the EEO office who only support management and will work tirelessly to blame harassment on the victim so they can protect sexist managers. They sell out their sisters for promotions. To the 9th circle of hell with you harpies!